Saturday, April 10, 2010

"4:30 a.m.?!"

Sorry, Sue, I just had to borrow this wonderful picture from your blog. This is the image of this mornings event as I was awakened by my old cat, Pooca, just before 4:30 a.m. as she began wretching by my bedside. Thanks to my Honey, Jeff, for getting out of bed and taking care of the awful mess.

Pooca's been suffering from inflammatory bowel disease for several years and if puking is going on it's usually her. I can only imagine the amount of money we've invested in "Resolve" carpet cleaner over the years. Despite the fact she's on regular medication for this affliction, sometimes there just seems to be a run on throw up. In the past 24 hours this is the third time she's lost it. Of course, now she wants to eat. Well, she's going to have to wait on that and then just a tad of food will be offered and we'll pray she keeps that down.

So, I never did get back to sleep but laid there tossing, turning, praying and pondering the recent turn of events in my life with this recent diagnosis of breast cancer. Still, it doesn't seem as if it applies to me and I wonder if the time it really sinks in will be the day of surgery or as I look upon my concave chest for the first time.

I've gone through quite a range of emotions, going from level headedness and faith, to anger and breaking out into tears unexpectedly. I've also experienced such great hope and encouragement from others, most recently from, "Survivors Offering Support" (SOS), a volunteer group of ladies who have walked in my shoes.

A very special lady, Janet, has become my mentor to offer support through perhaps the most challenging time of my life. We share a common bond through breast cancer but even more importantly, a faith and trust in God through the Lord Jesus Christ. This has most certainly been an answer to prayer, to connect with another whose been there and of like spirit, together to look to the One Who will see us both through. Thank you, Janet, for reaching out with the love of the Lord.

Yesterday I received a confirmation on the time of surgery. The date remains the same as I indicated on my last entry and is on April 21st. We'll need to be there at 7:30 a.m.. At 8:00 they'll take me back for the sentinel node injections to see if there's lymph node involvement and surgery is scheduled for 10:00. My surgeon has promised me he's always on time.

Well, that's it for now. It's time to go and get ready for a busy day of errands and chores.

Love and appreciate you all.

Isaiah 43:1-3 - ...Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; you are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers,they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

Thank You, Lord for Your Word to ponder which brings me life.


  1. Hi kiddo,

    I think it's good that things are moving so fast, don't you? I know it's a whirlwind right now but it's so much better to get it all behind you. Remember, not everything needs to be resolved right now, today, tomorrow. The details will fall into place, probably more smoothly than you anticipate. Doctor stuff always makes our heads spin, particularly when it involves a scare like you've had.

    If I can help to keep your head from spinning in any way, you know I'm here.

    Love & prayers,

  2. Poor Pooca! Salty doesn't have IBD, but he throws up hairballs on a regular basis. Usually in the wee hours of the am, right in the path to the bathroom, or in one of my shoes. Lovely!

    The range of feelings you describe sound like the feelings one goes through in grief-I went from laughing, to crying, to anger, to despair, to feeling like I was trapped, back to crying, over and over again when my Dad passed away. I was hit like a ton of bricks and the only way I was able to deal with it was to keep a journal. It wasn't online, but it was such a huge help to me. I think your blog will do the same for you, it somehow puts things in some kind of perspective when you sit and write them down. For me, it was kind of a way to purge my mind so I could go to sleep at night.
    And a purring cat or two can be immensely soothing, too!

  3. Sue,

    Yeah, there's nothing worse than puke in the middle of the night...especially in your shoes. You gotta put your shoes away!
    And you're right, it's grieving I'm going through for sure and it's a process. I have a feeling it may be a long process. Writing has definitely helped and now I only wish I had a lap top for when I get home from the hospital.
    By the way, I love your blog. Keep writing. You're a good writer and you can be soooo funny. I enjoy it.