Oh my gosh, I look like a little boy or a pin head! When I went for my hair appointment on Friday, I decided to go really short in preparation of my upcoming surgery and the fact that I won't be able to take care of it for awhile. I guess if I lose all of my hair as anticipated later, I'll wish I had at least this much.
I was so blessed to have a good deal of time to talk to both my hairdresser and another hairdresser in the shop who have both been through breast cancer. They helped tremendously, honestly answering many of my questions and were a great encouragement. They have offered ongoing support and even gave me some "wig" advice for the future if needed.
Another blessing came later that day in the form of a sales clerk at Macy's as I was checking out. She was a precious little old lady, no less than 80 years old who was asking if my purchases were in preparation of going away. When I told her, 'No, but I'm having surgery and need some comfy clothes', she boldly asked me what kind of surgery. When I told her a mastectomy, her eyes widened as she pulled back the sweater she wore over her blouse to reveal her flat chest. She replied, "Thirty two years." She had her breasts removed thirty two years ago, never having breast reconstruction since then it was not covered by insurance. She was like a gray-haired angel sent especially to me that day offering soothing words of life and hope.
She shared with me how for many years after her mastectomy she visited women in hospitals who had just gone through the same to help encourage them. The Lord knows how I especially love and am drawn to the old ones, so to me this was a double blessing as we continued to talk. Now, I can't remember ever giving my name and telephone number to a complete stranger, but when she asked me to give it to her so that she could check in with me later to see how I was getting along, I found myself readily offering it to her. You never know how the Lord might work through another to speak to you. I was so grateful and amazed how the Lord touched me and revealed His love for me in this unlikely place through a sweet sales lady named, Arlene.
So sorry I really couldn't blog over the past few days. I was too busy, exhausted and mad! Last week was a long, busy and difficult week physically and emotionally as I entered an "angry" stage. I was overwhelmed with doctors appointments, PET and CT Scans, and MRI. Then it was running to the mall, Petsmart, Walmart, and drug store, that as much as possible things would be in order so that Jeff and me and the pets would be all set for a month or so. I still need to get the house cleaned. Anybody who knows me knows I'm a planner and like to have things organized.
Then to kind of top things off Jeff's windshield got hit with a big rock as he was driving home from work and has a big crack in it. Thank God he wasn't hurt and it will be replaced on Wednesday. Bummer is, there's a $100.00 deductible...just when we don't have it. Then there's all kinds of diagnostic, doctor and hospital deductibles. All of this is a pricey proposition. We are certainly praying and trusting the Lord's provision for all.
I also had to leave my car at the shop on Friday afternoon when it went bonkers on me after I came out of the mall. When I started my car the front windshield wipers went on by themselves and I couldn't get them to stop. The windshield washer didn't work and the back wipers, radio and turn signals were dead as well. So here I was on a beautiful, dry, sunny day traveling from Whitemarsh Mall to the Jeep dealership, windshield wipers going all the way, sure that everyone was staring at me and laughing at the crazy, ditsy red-head who didn't realize it wasn't raining. It was like a comedy skit!
Originally, I was headed toward the Goodyear shop where we normally take our cars for maintenance when I'm telling you, a voice came into my head that said, "Under warranty, go to Heritage Jeep." And you know what?, it's covered! Thank you Lord, for helping me to go in the right direction. Unfortunately, a rental car isn't covered and I don't know how long they'll have my car. It depends on the problem and if they have to order parts or not. I haven't rented a car yet, since that's about $35.00 a day, though I may have to if I don't get it back right away so I can get to my appointments this week. They're not even going to be able to look at my car until Monday. Please pray it's not too serious and that I get it back pronto.
I wish I understood sometimes why so much is happening all at once. I find myself going throughout my days just crying out to God, "Help me, Lord!" He's the only One who can see us through, no matter what's going on in our lives.
This coming Tuesday at 5:00 p.m. we have a follow-up appointment with my surgeon to go over all the diagnostic findings and recommendations on exactly how to proceed. I'm guessing I may receive a surgery date then but I'm not sure.
Please pray that cancer is found no where else and for all the right decisions to be made. This is a very stressful and scary time for Jeff and I as I'm sure you can imagine and at times quite challenging to remain focused and upbeat. I'm leaning hard into God's everlasting loving arms to know His strength and support.